I’m okay with my whiteness now…

Towards the beginning of our relationship together, I was always very aware of my whiteness.  Anywhere we would go, I would be trying to figure out the Mexican to White People ratio inside my head.  It wasn’t long before he was taking me places where I was the only white person, which kind of made me feel as noticeable as a light bulb in a dark room. 

I was always sure the women were talking about me and my Gringa-ness.  Making fun of  me and my attempts at Spanish.  

But, after a while, I stopped caring.  I think it became a whole different story once I spoke fluent Spanish, and once I could communicate easily with those around me.  It got to the point where we would be out and about having fun, and I’d happen to look around and be like, “Whoa, I’m the only white one here!”.

And then, of course, the two months I spent in Mexico last year helped quite a bit.  The only other gueros I seen there were at the Guadalajara airport! 

Unfortunately, Jose doesn’t seem to be able to grasp the whole being comfortable being Mexican thing.  You’d think being in this country for 14 years the man would be over this by now. 

But he’s not.

Saturday, my good friend invited me to her graduation party.  Jose acted like I was inviting him to his own execution.  He told me to go without him.  He told me he didn’t feel good.  He told me he had a last minute errand to run. 

I finally told the man HE WAS GOING whether he liked it or not.

Yeah, we came and went before an hour was even up.  All the fancy schmancy lookin’ white people was too much for Jose to handle.  And all the people coming up, “Juan, how ‘ya doing!?” was making him a little uncomfortable.   (Juan is my friend’s boyfriend, who had left the party before we even showed up for similar reasons to Jose’s)

I think most of it is his lack of confidence in his English.  When he’s comfortable with someone, he speaks pretty good English.  I mean, yeah.  Heavily accented English with lots of mispronounciation, but you can understand the guy.  Get him around new people though, and its bad.  I mean, complete with stuttering and everything bad. 

We’ve come along way together.  I guess we just keep trucking along and working on it. 

And, by the way, at the dance on Sunday, there were NO WHITE PEOPLE!!  Usually, there are at least 5-6 other gueras.  But nope!  Not a one the other night.  Wow…

Some more info. on Caylee Anthony…

There haven’t been many updates to the case of missing Caylee Anthony.  I’ve been searching through news sites and reading blogs regarding this all weekend, though, and a few things kind of stuck with me.

At one blog I was reading, there was some interesting conversation going on in the comments.  I don’t think there is much truth to it, though.  Everyone seemed to share the theory that Casey had forgotten little Caylee in the car during a shopping trip, Caylee died of heat stroke, and Casey got spooked.  She confessed to her mom what she had done, and they decided to cover up the whole thing together.

This quote from the conversation between Casey and her mother that was captured while they were on hold with 911 makes you wonder if there might be a little truth behind that theory…

“During one exchange, Cindy Anthony tells her daughter she wouldn’t be in jail “if you had told them the truth.”"

I just can’t believe its been this long, and we still don’t know where this poor baby girl is.  I hope we get some good news soon.