Culture and Marriage…?

“Are you married/dating a Mexican or someone from a different culture? Do you find it difficult to relate in some areas of your relationship? Does your mate become frustrated at your lack of understanding or vice versa?” 

My friend Lisa (La Gringa Mas Bella) asked these questions in her blog and I thought I’d try answering them here.

I’m married to Jose, who was born and raised in Jalisco, Mexico.  He came to the United States in the early 90s.  When we first started going out, we would fight and fight and fight over the smallest things that all come down to how different his culture is from mine.  He was astonished that I had friends that were male.  He was shocked that I came and went from my mom’s house as I pleased.  The biggest jolt was when he found out she still cleaned my room!!! 

To my defense, I’ve never, ever been much of a cleaner.  And I’m a huge packrat.  Put two and two together and you’ve got a massive mess on your hands!  I am very grateful that my mom helped me out as much as she did. 

Once we were a little more serious with each other, his brother Rigo moved in with us.  Oh my God, you should have seen some of the fights we’ve had over that man!!  God forbid I don’t bend down and worship the frickin’ grass Rigo steps upon.  Me and Rigo wouldn’t see eye to eye about something (um… every minute of every day??) and he would whine to Jose that I was disrespecting him.  Then Jose would get upset with me for dissing his brother.

Trust me, there were times when I think I could have killed Rigo. 

But… don’t get me wrong.  It’s been almost 6 years that I’ve known Rigo.  I love the guy like a brother.  I know he would do anything I asked of him, and visa versa.  We just tend to fight a lot…

And THEN, after the whole Rigo turbulence died down, his MOM moved in with us.  His fresh the rancho, still washed clothes in the river, milked the cows, worked as a maid, cooked dinner for her husband and 5 adult kids Mom. 

You know damned well she clashed with the white girl!!!

But, because I love Jose to death, and I know how important it is for him for me to get along with his mom, I put forth my best effort.  I’m a people pleaser.  I know what to do to make people happy and, around her, I sucked it up and did it.  I held my tongue in a lot of situations where I could have told her off.  I listen to her silly wive’s tales.  I treat Jose like a God around her. 

Hey, if it makes the suegra happy…

So.  To bring this very long answer to an end, yes.  There have been many frustrations.  There would have been MANY more had I not picked up Spanish so quickly.  Also, I recognized my limits.  Once Jose got back from Mexico and we got settled, I told him the family had to go.  Si a huevo we had to take his mom, fine.  But the four brothers, the neice, and the neice’s baby had to move out. 

Tears were shed.  Feelings were hurt.  But, over a year later, everyone is still alive.  Their dependance upon Jose isn’t as much.  Our marriage is 100% better because of it. 

A lot of the culture I embraced.  Especially the music.  You know your a Mexican music lovin’ fool when your Mexican friends call you to ask you, “Oye, quien canta la cancion…”  or “Como se llama la cancion que dice…?”

That’s my very long answer to Lisa’s question.   

Chock full of updates…

Yesterday, I went to the interview for the job as a bank teller.  Back when Chavela was a baby, I worked at a bank, and I absolutely LOVED it.  I have regretted leaving ever since!  So… the other day when I seen the job posting, I decided it couldn’t hurt to apply.

The interview went very well.  I interviewed with the employee specialist woman, and then I went down to South Omaha and interviewed with the bank manager.  They both seemed to like me.  The branch manager told me about a zillion times how energetic I am.  LoL, maybe he was trying to tell me to sit still…? 

On Sunday, we were never able to go see South Pacific.  Once we showed up at the theater, some elderly people ran us off.  Due to the severe weather, the power was out!!  Mom was sooo disappointed.

Last night (sorry to jump around so much!), we went to the IMAX and watched Kung Fu Panda.  It was sooo good!  Chavela didn’t like it too much.  She keeps telling me how scary it was.  Um… okay.  I guess all the kung fu action was a little intense for her!    We ended up going with Rigo and Lupe and her two older kids.

I don’t know what to think about the whole Lupe situation.  I’m not at all the kind of person to hold a grudge, and she is acting like nothing ever happened, so I’m just kind of following her lead.  I will never trust her with anything ever again, nor will I say anything to her that I don’t want everyone and their sister to know about!

And the most exciting news…

We’re going to be padrinos!!  Karina (Jose’s neice) and Daniel want us to baptize baby Daniel!  Here’s a picture of me soon-to-be-hijado:

Isn’t he adorable??!

Me and Jose are very excited to be padrinos.  Karina had wanted us to baptise her daughter, but since we weren’t married by the Catholic church yet we weren’t able to.  There are no dates or anything set for the baptism.  Karina says she wants to wait until he is a little older, around 6 months or so.

YAY! 

That’s all for now…  talk to you guys later!